Let the Diet Commence...

Lying in bed late last night...

"I think I'll go on a diet tomorrow."

"That's the first clue that it's not going to happen then!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well the words; I think at the beginning are probably your biggest clue darling"

Now, that's when I just have to prove him wrong....I'm like a small child really, the more someone says I can't or won't do something then I have to go ahead and prove I can or I will. He's probably looking at me these days and wondering what on earth he married, so is using a little reverse psychology on me. I can't blame him really. I think the very same thing every time I have to climb into my swimsuit for Imogen's swimming lessons. Why is it that the changing rooms are always at the opposite end to where you have to get into the pool? It's like a form of torture...parade your cellulite for all to see!

A few days ago Mr PL uttered those 3 longed for but also dreaded words..."Last minute holiday"..."Last minute what?" I spluttered? Having just made a Lemon Drizzle Cake and 10 cupcakes, it wasn't really what I was hoping to hear. "Are you thinking of booking some last minute liposuction to go with that darling?"

"Where were you thinking"?

Now I was hoping that he was going to say somewhere cold as it would give me the perfect opportunity to buy this great little suit that Mr Garden Girl (From all things lovely) really felt I should buy when I was worrying about being cold on our first camping expedition (Such a funny man)! As it cost more than the actual tent at £800 I felt I should really give it a miss but sometimes "Needs must"!

Maybe that wonderful Ice Hotel and I could dress up like Shirley Bassey in the M&S Christmas advert in a big furry coat hiding a multitude of sins. Or a city of Culture perhaps?

"Somewhere hot, where we can relax by a pool and the girls can have fun"

Now is it just my husband or would any men in your lives think nothing of putting the words "relax and pool" in the same sentence when discussing children aged 2 & 3 yrs old? Who ever would be able to 'relax by a pool' when they have a 3 year old that thinks after obtaining her 'duckling' grade 1 award she'll be able to give Rebecca Adlington a run for her money at the 2012 Olympics?

Good God...Men just don't get it do they? They don't realise just how much the idea of having to wear a bikini horrifies most of us women!. I know, I know, I should be 'Comfortable in my own skin' etc etc but unfortunately that's just not me and I totally admire any woman that is. Now how the hell am I going to lose a stone before he decides the time is right to subject other holiday makers to my beautifully 'baked' Muffin top!

I was just starting to breathe a sigh of relief that we were coming to the end of the Summer(?) and I could comfortably slip into those big baggy jumpers and hide my souvenirs of child birth, not parade it on a beach somewhere to repulse anyone within a few metres of me. Now I have to rewind back 5 months when I was eagerly anticipating a beautiful British Summer and start to think about having to wear Summer dresses again....Although it does give me an excuse to wear these pretty little numbers....

So, after much huffin'n'puffin at 6.30 this morning, I donned the Nike's ,tweaked my frame of mind a little and headed to the gym at Bishopstrow House.

OK OK, so I haven't got the hang of the gym bag thing!!

Luckily there weren't any other completely mad people there to join me at 6.45am, so I didn't have to pretend that I was incredibly fit and run a half-marathon on the treadmill. Good God, I almost have an asthma attack when I'm slowly cycling away on the exercise bike watching GMTV!!

I almost fell off the stepping machine when I heard the door open behind..Oh God, is it going to be some mega fit hunky man? If it is, then I'll have to pretend that I've just finished my morning work-out, do a few stretching exercises and leave spending the remaining hour in the jacuzzi un-winding from my strenuous 8 minute work out. Apparently it's compulsory!!!!

Unfortunately it was only the cleaner filling up a glass jug from the water cooler..

"Do you want the lights on love? you can hardly see what you're doing"

"Oh, yes please" I reply trying to sound as if I was so engrossed in my calorie burning that I failed to notice that I was almost in darkness. Maybe there were another 10 hunky men in there after all and I just couldn't see them!

Then the door opened again...The gardener...again filling up his flask from the water cooler...That's what my monthly membership goes on....

After full 10 minutes work-out and having almost flung myself up onto the ceiling when I attempted to pull 20kgs on a biceps pull thingamajig...I decided that was probably enough for one day so went and ordered an orange juice and a piece of toast and sat in the library reading Harper's Bazaar. This came to my attention and whilst I sat there dreaming of a wonderful Spa Break somewhere in the Far East I clicked back to reality and the fact that I'm sure Mr PL had something much cheaper and child friendly in mind!!!

"Mummy where have you been?"

"To the gym"

"Whats that?"

"Somewhere that mummy goes and thinks that after 3 visits she'll look like Kate Moss"

"Who's Kate Moss?"

"Someone daddy wishes I looked like darling"


So there you have it. Day one of diet completed. All I have to do now is convince the lovely Mr PL that November would be a much nicer month to go in. Obviously not during the Homemade & Vintage Fair of course!

I thought that if I shared my new 'mission' with you all it would give me a little more incentive to continue the gym and diet regime! I may have to stop reading blogs however as all those homemade cakes and lovely meals are just far too tempting!

Now off to use this contraption....It 'aids' sit ups apparently. Hopefully it'll mean I'll have a little less jelly belly to 'fold' into my jeans by the end of it. They really should add 'support knickers' to the hospital bag list when you are expecting a child. When I had my first daughter I had this vision that I would skip out of the hospital, babe in arms in my size 10 jeans, I was utterly horrified when the reality was hobbling out due to a copious amount of stitches, unable to hold my newborn babe close due to severe cracking of nipples and my stomach wobbling around somewhere near to my knees.

Almost 4 years later the delivery room I gave birth in no longer exists and has been replaced by a shiny new hospital unfortunately my jelly belly hasn't....time it was I think!!!

How to Accessorise an Award.......

Carol, Carol Carol...Whats' a girl to do? You present me with a such lovely award (which I was VERY pleased to receive, thank you) and I just couldn't help but Accessorise...............

Such a pretty award, a single red heart sat all alone in it's white box...it was lonely.....I just HAD to shop for things to keep it company...........

First off some more great 'Cath' style placemats from the salubrious store 'Tesco'...at only 75p each, such a cheap find. I had bought them in blue and red the other day but obviously 8 of them weren't enough...goodness knows who I'm expecting to come to dinner, it must be at least 4 years since we had people (other than family) over for dinner! Always better to be on the safe side though, just in case a further 4 people turn up along with the other 6 un-expected guests.

Then came these cute little 'All Star' style trainers £8 - Sainsbury's...My God, I can shop in some classy places. Mr PL has yet to realise that when the weekly shop totals £185 it's mostly made up of magazines, C.Ds, DVDs, Champney's lotions and potions, shoes, and kitchen wares....We always run out of nutritious food 2 days later but what the hell..... I've now realised why doing the weekly shop on the Internet isn't for me, it's not half as much fun..(Obviously trips without the children and the self scanner tills)!

Of course Beatrice had to join in the fun and purchase these cuties...great for running like a mad woman around the open plan living area with the hard oak floorboards......When you keep telling them to be careful,(sounding like a broken record and being TOTALLY ignored!), do they think we do it just to entertain ourselves? Between Mr PL and his selective hearing now the Olympics are on (and when I tell him how much I've just spent on my latest shopping expedition), 2 girls that only take the slightest bit of notice of me if the words 'treat' and 'present' are thrown together in the same sentence, 2 dogs that only obey me if I have their leads in my hand and the retarded cat, I walk around half the day saying (to myself, of course) "Does anyone listen to me in this house?"

Now we all know what happens when little people don't listen............Having walked around the house for 10 minutes saying "Mumma, Opital, Opital" I managed to convince her that a strip of 'Bounty' wrapped around her head and stuck with sellotape would suffice and that we didn't need to spend at least 8 hours at the A&E waiting to be told to; "Observe her for the next 24 hours and bring her back if she vomited or we noticed any changes" Beatrice is the accident prone member of the family very closely followed by Mr PL who could manage to trip over a pea in a field and break his leg

Then I purchased these.....

And just had to make these....



Yes Garden girl, at last the domestic Goddess within has been unleashed.

Some magnetic force came into play when I passed this little tea dress with tiny red stars! I found myself at the cash register quicker than they could ask "Can I help you?"

Imogen had to join the bandwagon and purchase these..goodness only knows when she'll wear them with all this rain..........

Talking of rain...................With so much expected, this will go down on the 'essential purchases' list when Mr PL goes through the accounts at the end of the month (At which point I decide to take a VERY long soak in the bath and remember to lock the door and turn the music up very loudly so not to hear gasps loud enough to awaken the whole of Petticoat Lane).

A pin cushion to add to my collection of sewing paraphernalia...Now all I need is the sewing machine to go with it!

I was 'half' tempted to just say "I'll take the lot" when I came across this lovely dresser full of more Red & White loveliness, but I did draw in the reins...Anyway, I really think I would have struggled a little to hide the dresser at the back of the wardrobe along with all my other purchases..that I 'dribble' into the home week by week..."Gosh, I bought that ages ago"...

With only a week to go until we enter September I thought I'd just tally it all up and work out how much this award has cost....so far...

Placemats - £3.00

Trainers - £8.00 (such a bargain!)

Beatrice's shoes - £16.00

Mixing Bowls - £12.99

Ingredients - £2.00 (ish)

Dress - £4.00 (sale)

Flip flops - £2.75 (sale)

Umbrella - £15.00

Hair slide at top of blog - £5.50

Pin cushion - £4.99

Total spend on the "I love your Blog" award - £73.23.

Money saved by not purchasing the dresser along with crockery - £650 (ish) I can therefore justify to myself that in fact; 'I hardly spent anything!!'

Mr Petticoat Lane looking up to 'the big guy' for inspiration on how to deal with his wife's new blogging pastime and how much it's costing him!

Now I'm guessing that I have to pass this award onto 7 other people whose blogs I enjoy reading.....How on earth do you chose only 7? These are my favourites of the moment, although I love to read them all. I know many of you have received this already (so do with it what you will), but I'd hate to be a breaker of rules...and I do love your blogs...Feel free to accessorise in your own unique way!

Nancy at Philosophy of Lists

Anna at All things Lovely

Lucy at Attic 24

Michele at Cowboys and Custard

Sarah at Miss Sew'n'Sew

Vanessa at Just Original

Cathy at Pink Green.

All links are over in my sidebar.

Hope that's all I need to do...totally new to the blogging world...Is there a book of rules I can purchase somewhere?...

A Blancmange kind of day....

Monday morning. Peep behind blind in bedroom. Grey, chilly with the promise of rain......Again

"Mummy, What's today"? Imogen's way of asking; where are you taking us? and are we going to have fun?

I suppress the desire to answer "Groundhog day darling" and instead delve into the corners of my brain for inspiration.

10.00am - It's no good, it's obviously a little slow kicking into gear today, so instead, just to make a change, we head for the supermarket.

I know what you're thinking, and what everyone else must be thinking whilst watching us entertain the shoppers as we walk down the aisles; children arguing, singing at the top of their not so tuneful voices and fighting over who holds the grapes and who can eat them all before we get to the check-out (leaving me red faced as I try to explain to the check-out lady just how many we started with) ....Why don't you get with this 21st century malarkey and use the Internet?

I often think about it, but that's as far as it gets...thinking...

Whoever invented those self-service scanner tills obviously DIDN'T have small children...They think it's great..."Let's play supermarkets"...."yes let's.....not"

First of all they both almost fall out of the trolley leaning over playing 'Let's scan everything numerous times and make mummy pay £37.42 for a box of eggs'...then the machine decides to announce to everyone around us in it's robotic, repetitive way that we have an "unexplainable item in our baggage area"....Obviously, I'm unable to tell the machine that it's my youngest daughter that's fallen in whilst trying to beat big sister to putting the said box of eggs into the bags...competitiveness starts early doesn't it?

Then of course we have to call over the poor lady that stands at the end watching that no one steals anything...do you think she's seen us on the CCTV with the grapes? I don't feel too bad though having just paid £37.42 for half a dozen eggs...one of which is broken due to daughter no.2's energetic dive into the baggage area...

And it goes on and on......my daughters love it...I, on the other hand do NOT.

Having managed to sneak a DVD into the trolley whilst I wasn't looking, obviously the singing of "The Little Mermaid" at 98 Decibels worked...they're a clever pair my daughters, we pay and leave....

Almost....

"Mummy' what's that noise?"

Oh God...what haven't we paid for? or rather, what are they hiding somewhere on their beings?

For one cotton pickin' minute I had a horrible feeling I was being stopped so they could weigh my two terrors for excess grapes...

It turned out that the DVD I'd never intended to purchase in the first instance had an alarm sticker on it...Why didn't my friend, the 'machine' , inform me that it had to be removed by the lady at the end of the tills? The security man, then kindly told me I was free to leave, which was very good of him.

When we arrived home, looking out into the garden, everything looked a little battered from all the rain we've had of late. The lavender edging the flowerbeds was looking like it had all but given up on the Summer, deciding it wasn't going to put much more effort into adding it's delicate colour to our garden. Not wanting to see it bowing out in such a forlorn way I braved the rain and decided to pick the remaining few sprigs.

This is what they became....

Lavender cup cakes. Ground lavender mixed in with the usual ingredients and finished off with delicate lavender icing finished with the last remaining flowers (just).

I was on a roll now, so after the girls conjured up a Pasta Bake for their lunch, (do you think they'd do their own ironing as well?), we started on Blancmange..... I can't stand the stuff but the box looked SO pretty!

Now this is where it started to go wrong....with my own brain turning into the very Blancmange I was attempting to make.....

Now how hard is Blancmange to make? Exactly, just add milk, sugar, bring to the boil and stir. Well, Firstly I managed to set fire to the Blancmange when it slurped over the side of the pan (when I got a little over zealous with the wooden spoon), landing in the gas flame and somehow igniting it.........I turned round to my somewhat anxious daughters and explained that the best blancmanges are always flambed.

Having rescued the contents I then poured it into the brightly coloured moulds, took a picture for you all to see how pretty they looked then promptly put it in the freezer! Yes, you heard right...the freezer! Obviously I didn't realise I'd done this!

It was only later when Mr Petticoat Lane opened the freezer that he came across my pretty little creations.

It gets worse! When they'd actually defrosted (!), the girls decided they wanted them for their dessert. They sat down on their pretty ikea chairs... (Aren't they lovely? Just had to show you)

...and promptly spat it out! To my horror I realised I'd forgotten to put any sugar in! Did I really admit to that?

Now I wasn't going to post again today, however my husband thought it was very commendable bringing Blancmange back from the brink and within just one afternoon I managed to send it straight back to obscurity!

I think I'll stick to shopping in future...........

The glass started half empty.....

Yesterday didn't exactly get off to the greatest of starts. I woke at 3.50am to the dulcet tones of Beatrice "Dadda, Dadda, Where Dadda?", pretending it would all go away, I ignored her and turned over. She may have been ready to start her day but I almost certainly was NOT. Two minutes later.....realising that Dadda still wasn't coming to her rescue (working away in London), either that or he was ignoring her as well, she starts on..."Mumma, Mumma....where dadda?" Bugger she's just not going to shut up..... What a terrible parent I am expecting my daughter to sleep in until 4am!!! Does this ever get better? or do the bags under my eyes just get bigger and bigger?

Three hours later (God, was it only 7am by then?), she proceeded to what can only be described as 'chuck' an entire beaker of milk all over my poppy red cushions with the dye very quickly running through onto the cream settee.......Result...One cream settee with a lovely 'Pink' stain all over that isn't coming off believe me....I'll have to place the cushions much more strategically in future!!! Thank you Beatrice.

By 9am I was MORE than ready to drop her off at her childminder (aka my guardian angel). My poor husband had already had to endure what can only be described as me totally stressed out, and shall we say raising my voice 'ever so slightly' down the phone to him! It was one of those phone calls that you realise, having put the phone down, was totally pointless and unfair but makes you feel better anyway!!

"It's alright for you...I'm the one stuck here with 2 very naughty girls arguing constantly, 2 barking dogs a mentally retarded cat (That stands by the back door meowing to come in all day long whether it's wide open or not), and a huge pink stain all over the settee! You just sit in your car, listening to Talk Sport...." Poor guy, he had just arrived at his meeting! I was obviously expecting him to miraculously steam clean the settee via the phone lines. It's amazing what 4 years of sleep deprivation can do to a woman!

Anyway, having dropped off 'Nightmare' (so adeptly named by my sister) at the guardian Angel, I decided I needed cheering up with some lovely things, so Imogen and I headed off on a little trip into Frome. A little 'pottering' around those lovely vintage shops would cheer me up no end...

Imogen soon cottoned onto the fact that she had moved up to pole position in the 'most well behaved daughter' stakes and milked it no end, but I have to say she was delightful and we had a fabulous time window shopping.

Admiring the resident cat in Bea & Evie's enjoying the sunshine!

A visit to the 'Garden Cafe' which has a delightful little garden (funny that - being called the Garden Cafe!). Having found ourselves a lovely little corner to enjoy the sunshine, we had to promptly move inside when the level of Imogen's hysteria heightened as a wasp decided to join us for chocolate cake! At £3.50 a slice (or thereabouts) he most certainly wasn't going to join the party!

On the way back to the car (with a few purchases from Millie Moons Haberdashery acquired along the way), I popped into one of my favourite places in Frome; The Black Swan Arts Centre. It has this gorgeous shop that sells beautiful works of art, vintage style toys, and exquisite jewellery. Imogen enjoys having a look in the gallery upstairs, so we went on up to have a nosey.

It was the opening of a new exhibition and was buzzing with local photographers, guests and gate crashers such as ourselves..looking a little conspicuous with Imogen carrying around her pick'n' mix from Woollies (she really did go to town with the well behaved daughter routine), and almost knocking displays over with her handbag! Obviously when you're 3 carrying a handbag whilst 'pottering' is of up most importance! Thank heavens though I've managed to prise the pink glittery plastic number from Claire's Accessories off her, and replace it with a pretty fabric Monsoon bag!

Walking around the gallery, it was one of those moments as a parent that you kind of hold your breath and just hope that you don't have to answer any innocent questions only an inquisitive three year old could ask? You know the ones....where colour rises very quickly up your face and you have to think in 2 point 2 nanoseconds how to answer politically correctly without offending anyone within earshot eagerly awaiting your response and explaining without prompting any further embarrassing questions, or embarrassment for those involved.

The exhibition led by lead artist Edwina Bridgeman was called "Welcome to our World". Everything displayed around the room was a collaboration between Edwina and a group of participants who meet weekly at Gore Community Room in Frome. Despite their disabilities, they all have one thing in common...they are able to express their feelings and emotions via the world of Art. As the lead artist stated; "The most successful and endearing art is about feelings, not meanings".

It was all about the group's world, home and what they liked about it. It was amazing and I found it quite emotional walking between the various artists, explaining how they managed to create such magnificent and colourful displays and how they overcame obstacles in order to do so.

I looked at my precious, perfect little girl walking amongst the artists, getting excited by the little plate of food on display, a swing hanging from the ceiling with beautiful flowers made of coloured tissue resting below, and I not only felt grateful, but also proud of how grown up she was and how she didn't see any differences amongst everyone there. To her everyone was equal. How I loved her so at that moment in time.

As a treat I took her to one of her favourite places as I had been selfish enough to fill most of the day visiting mine! I must confess it was hardly a hardship though.

Our little bit of luxury is being members here at Bishopstrow House just outside Warminster. I joined initially to use the gym but somehow my Nike's just haven't found themselves walking in that direction recently! Instead we all enjoy a family swim at the weekends, and for a 'girlie' treat occasionally, Imogen and I head off and use the heated outside pool before heading in for a 'jacuzzi' chatting about our day.

So there you have it..My glass was half empty at the beginning of the day and by the end, half full. What did it? Living in a lovely area, enjoying my daughters' company, a swim in a lovely location, pottering about on Catherine Hill and the realisation of how blessed I am to have two such lovely, lovely healthy girls. After all, whatever hardships in life we all endure, if we and those we love have good health then that's everything.

My glass from this point forward will remain half full......Cheers!

A womans right to shoes.......................

Shoe. n. Outer covering for the foot ending below the ankle.

Years ago, the easiest and simplest way to protect feet, was to grab the nearest vine and tie leaves, grass or even bark to the foot. How boring would that be if that was still the case? and how uncomfortable would that bark be? Thank goodness things have moved on!

Manolo Blahniks, Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choos often displayed like precious jewels behind polished glass...aspirations...untouchable objects of desire!

Like Carrie Bradshaw (of Sex in the City), I too am particularly known for my fondness of shoes, the more colourful, unusual and 'sparkly' the better.


I also, must confess to buying 'Vogue' instead of dinner...(fabulous priorities I had in my early 20's!!), although these days it would more likely to be a copy of 'Red' or 'Country Living'.

Unfortunately though (apart from the un-tameable curly hair), that's where the similarities end. How I wish I had her wardrobe and beauty! Neither do I have her disposable income or colourful social life for which to purchase and display these works of art. I do however, every now and again, remove them from their boxes, unwrap the colourful tissue and lovingly 'stroke' them a little remembering happy days and occasions of times past! If only those shoes could tell a story...

My Precious Prada Ostrich skin Heels, now on their last legs but still remain my all time favourites, Happy memories worn the day before and the day after my Wedding.

That was then however, life moves on and brings with it 'sensible' shoe purchases required for the everyday activities of a mother of two little kiddiewinkles.

I thought I'd share with you a small selection that adorn my feet these days and the occasions for which they're worn. A little trivia thrown in for good measure!..How I love trivia...

For the little girl in me, worn for garden parties and children's parties!

To brighten up driving!..Who says driving has to be dull?!!

An early example of the Moccasin was a piece of treated skin (although probably not bubblegum pink cowhide!), with holes punched around the edge which was put under the foot and laced with a leather strap to draw it in and hold the shoe in place.

Playing on the beach, relaxing at home and summer day trips.

Flip Flops have been around for at least 6 thousand years. There are depictions of flip flops in ancient Egyptian murals on tombs and temples from about 4,000 B.C.

Country walks, walking the dogs and playing in the woods.

The Wellington Boot first evolved from the style worn by the Duke of Wellington, who was the first wearer of a full length boot originally made from leather.

Camping, walking on the beach in the winter, cutting the grass and gardening.

Crocs originated in July 2002, when 3 Boulder Colorado based founders decided to develop and market an innovative type of footwear intended as a boating/outdoor shoe because of its slip-resistant, non-marking sole.

Dinner Parties, Restaurants and trips to the theatre.

The origin of the high heel goes back many centuries in history. The first precursors of stiletto heels were discovered in a tomb of Tebas in Old Egypt and date from 1000 B.C.

Play days, coffee mornings, pre-school sports day!

Cath Kidston was founded in 1992 when Cath opened her first shop in Notting Hill selling old junk furniture and vintage fabrics. She now has 18 stores in the UK and has recently opened another 3 in Japan.

For any occasion, my favourites at the moment!

The Clog was originally used by factory workers, farmers and miners as protective footwear.

Pottering around shops, 'doing lunch' with family and friends!

Purchased from Boden.

Founded back in 1991 with only 8 menswear products, it wasn't long before women's wear joined them in 1994, children's wear in 1996 and baby wear in 2007. With Boden launching into the US market in 2002 and more recently into Germany, 600 workers dispatch over 3,000 orders a day. Maybe I don't order so much after all??

The pre-school run, supermarket trips and rainy days

In 1917 the higher boot for basketball was introduced by Converse and the shoe known as the 'Converse All Star' was born.

Obviously I could go on and on, but these are some of my favourites. I'd also hate my long suffering husband to realise that I don't really only posses 5 pairs!! Men are so gullible aren't they? Don't they realise that we hide our purchases all over the house?!!

I'll end with my absolute favourite pair of shoes residing at our family home here in Petticoat Lane; my daughters first pair of ballet shoes worn when she'd just turned 2!! (Pushy parent moment!), I think I'm going to put them in a box frame and hang them on her wall.

Aren't they adorable?????